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To have Canobied and lost is better than to not have Canobied at all...

Windham Appreciation Day (aka majorly discounted tickets) was yesterday at Canobie Lake. Enter me, amusement park lover since I was young. I mean, for real, we went to Disney World when I was 5 months pregnant. We couldn't go on any major rides, but still we had the time of our lives, just two big kids at heart before we welcomed our first kid. Ben's baby shower and nursery was (and still is) Winnie the Pooh themed, after my lifelong love of the classic themes in the original Pooh stories.  

It was a particularly long day of therapy 8-11am in the morning, then lunch + nap, then 2-5pm in the afternoon. Both sessions were at home. Meanwhile, I was going a little stir crazy. It's an odd thing to feel like a 3rd wheel sometimes in your home. It just is, but such is life as a special needs mom. I just keep holding onto faith that this is all for the greater good and Ben is making great progress. 

I brought Ben's stroller. The last few times we've done outings we made the grave mistake of forgetting it and the poor guy walks up to other people strollers and taps on them. Great communication though, right? Considering the stroller was his main means of getting around for 2.5 years, it's like his comfort zone. As most of you know Ben didn't walk until 6 months ago (due to Hypotonia) and I was humbly reminded by his PT last week that even though he is walking, his legs are still functioning at a 18 month old's tolerance, and we need to build in breaks throughout the day as Hypotonia kids fatigue sooner.  We strolled to the kiddie section. A circle of 4 rides meant for 48 inches and under, meaning I couldn't go on anything with Ben. I could sense he wasn't going to tolerate going on his own. So we watched. We ran into a few friends from Windham and I so badly wished he could've rode on with them. My heart aches in moments like that when all I want is to feel and experience what "typical" is. But it's okay. I knew his comfort level so instead we left, and walked, and walked. 

Legit probably walked 10k steps if only my Fitbit was charged. I have a serious charging, or lack thereof, problem. Walked up and down and all around the park. The train ride around the park was closed. If anything, I was hoping we could ride on that together but such our luck, it wasn't operating. Naturally, Ben was drawn to the pond. He loves open water so we sat on a bench and took in the view. That was the extent of our ride going. He does always remind me to slow down and for this, I'm thankful. If Ben wasn't in the stroller, he wanted to be held in my arms, which I never mind, as it means I get unlimited access to kiss his cheeks. I wondered for a second what will I do in public places when he's too old/big for a stroller or to be held? The thought of it is too much. Right now I can easily protect him from places he's unsure of with the comfort of my arms or his trusty stroller, but some day it will be harder to do that. Le sigh. 

Maybe he will do better with crowds. Maybe not. Maybe amusement parks won't be our thing and that's okay. We are still learning and trying. I figure it's better to have Canobied and lost, then to have not Canobied at all. And maybe just maybe, the more exposure he has to different environments, the less frightening these situations will be for him sensory wise. Here's to hoping.  

Throwback to our Baby Shower 

Throwback to Ben 4 weeks old. Note, I totally remember taking his oxygen off for this picture and sweating bullets doing so. Now I think, why did I do that? Why was I trying to hide that? 

Canobie Lake bench 

Home Sweet Stroller  

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